I stare in the mirror for the millionth time in the past thirty minutes. I have a date with my boyfriend, his best friend and his best friend’s new love interest. His best friend initiated the double date. This is supposed to be the introduction dinner. Fun stuff, right? Not for me. There is this foreboding feeling in the pit of my tummy. I couldn’t tell you why. Not totally anyway. I always feel a kind of way when there is an occasion to meet the best friend, but this feeling right now is stronger than anything I have felt about our past meetings.
My phone rings. It’s Michael.
“Hey babe, I’m at the gate,” he says in his usual cheerful tone.
“Okay. I am coming now,” I reply.
“Does this ‘I am coming now’ mean at this very moment, or like in a few minutes?” he teases.
“Michael, I am coming right now.”
I make it a point to lock my door loudly.
“I can hear you locking the door.”
“Good! See you in a few seconds.”
We both laugh as I hang up. He never hangs up first.
I step outside to meet Michael holding the passenger door open for me.
“Your carriage awaits, Your Highness,” he says dramatically.
Michael can be very theatrical. I have never been into the dramatics, but I let Michael be Michael. I think part of it is him being in the music industry. You know how these artists can be very showy.
I smile and say thank you as I enter the car. As he drives us to the restaurant, he shares his excitement about meeting his best friend's new love interest. I don’t know if I believe him though. Michael talks a lot and acts more animated when he is trying to play up something and he is doing that now. But I don’t want to ask him about it. Not now, at least.
Soon, we arrive at the restaurant. Michael gets off the phone with his best friend. They are also in the parking lot. We’ll meet up and go in together. It’s a good plan. Michael uses his height advantage to search for them. I know he has seen them when he stops mid-sentence.
“Seen them?” I ask for formality's sake.
“Y-yeah,” he sputters.
Why is my very articulate man stammering all of a sudden? What did he see? My questions are answered as soon as I see them – the best friend and best friend’s love interest.
Walking towards us is a gorgeous lady wearing a black bodycon dress and a curly wig. She looks like she stepped out of the Instagram-fashion-influencer world. And beside her is a tall, lanky dude. He is alright, but he isn’t the star of the show. The gorgeous woman is.
“Larry?” Michael calls out as they approach us.
“Mikey,” Larry says with a chuckle.
Mikey and Larry – Lara to everybody else – hug and he gushes over her. The model-looking babe is Lara, Michael’s best friend. She is stunning, I must say. But Michael’s flustering is unbecoming. I get it. Lara is usually dressed in a baggy shirt and shorts or pants. So I get his surprise, but still…. I clear my throat so the pair remember the onlookers.
Lara turns her attention to me with a wide smile on her face.
“Zara…,” she coos, giving me a big hug.
When the hug ends and she comes into my view, I notice something about Lara that I never noticed before. And it is very disconcerting. I am also wearing a bodycon but in dark blue. And a curly wig. It is like I am staring at myself in the mirror as I did some minutes ago. Did God use the same mould to create Lara and me? It doesn’t help that Lara was born a year before me. I am a Lara replica. Wait a minute…. No, I don’t want to think about it.
“Hi, Lara,” I say.
‘Lara and Zara’ sounds like a sitcom or soap opera, doesn’t it? Lara wanted to make it a whole thing when we first met, but it didn’t hold. Lara will always be Michael’s friend. Not mine.
“Is it just me or are we twinning?” Lara asks. “Do you see it, Mikey?”
Michael lets out an awkward laugh. There is an expression of slow realisation on Lara’s face, but it disappears quickly.
“So Mikey, Zara, meet Kelvin. Kelvin, Michael and Zara,” she says, ending the psychological war.
We all exchange pleasantries. Michael’s grip on Kelvin’s hand is a bit too tight. Even Lara notices and gives him a look to stop. Then we head into the restaurant for dinner.
Dinner is going okay. Kelvin seems like a nice guy. Better than Chris from two months ago. Fola from three months before Chris was a nice guy too. Michael and I have been together for over seven months and Lara is on guy number three. She is free-spirited and is never looking for anything serious with guys. But she also doesn’t like being single. I feel bad for the poor guys all the time because it’s always so obvious that she doesn’t really like them.
What does Michael think of all the guys Lara has dated? He always has a problem with them, talking about how they are not worthy of Larry, how Larry has so much love to give and blah, blah, blah. But the Larry I see? She doesn’t have much love to give.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I dislike Lara. She is nice. She has tried to make us a trio, but it never translates well. I always feel like a third wheel when it’s just us three hanging out. That’s why I prefer the double dates. At least, I am third-wheeling with some guy.
As dinner, or more like Michael’s interview with Kelvin, progresses, it becomes the Mikey and Larry show. Of course, they never mean to make it one, but their many years of friendship make it hard not to be. They have inside jokes from centuries ago that I never understand even when they try to explain. They have catchphrases. They have a running thing where if one of them says a word that the other person associates with a song, they sing it. It becomes a full-on song association game. I never try to join in because it is Mikey and Larry’s thing. They even work together as songwriting partners. That entails long hours together that Michael and I never get. But it’s okay. It’s work. I don’t even want to be with Michael for that long. I won’t be able to stand it. But Lara never complains even though most of the world’s population would give her the ick if she spent that amount of time with them. Even her parents. Lara leaves her parents’ house to a friend’s when she feels like she is seeing them too much. Michael seems to be the only human being she can stand. But I guess it is because they have been friends for a long time.
My best friend, Adaeze, has a different theory. I don’t agree with her. Michael is a great boyfriend. He is very intentional and attentive. We hardly fight. He hates fighting. But he has fights with Lara all the time. It’s almost always her fault. Lara can be… problematic sometimes. And she takes Michael for granted a lot and it hurts me that she does that. Michael is a very sweet guy. Extremely emotionally intelligent. When you are spiralling, he is the guy you want there. Lara knows this too. And that is why when any of her plans backfire, she calls Michael. Sometimes, her 911 calls happen when we are on a date and he has to go to her rescue. For the record, Michael never wants to leave me when she calls.
For example, one evening, Lara fought with her mum and her mum asked her to leave the house. So she called Michael.
“I don’t know what to do, Mikey,” she said, wailing on the phone. “I have never seen Mum this mad before.”
I still don’t know what happened between Lara and her mother, but if I could take a guess, it was Lara’s fault.
“I am so sorry, Larry. Can you go and stay with Jessie?” Michael said. “I am out with Zara now.”
“Of course, of course. I am sorry for interrupting your date. Say hi to Zara for me.”
Lara sounded so sad and Michael was distracted after she hung up.
“Do you want to go and see Lara?” I asked.
From the beginning of our relationship, I told myself I would never come between Michael’s friendship with Lara. I am a modern woman. Michael can have a female bestfriend. I trust him.
“But we are on a date,” Michael replied, still looking out of it.
“Yeah, I know. But it seems like you’re worried about Lara. Also, I am tired. I need to get home.” I yawned for effect.
“Are you sure?” he asked, an eyebrow raised in concern.
“Sure.”
Did I want to end the date? No. But would I rather spend time with a distracted Michael? No. So after a lot of assurance that I was okay with it, Michael dropped me at home and went to see Lara. When I narrated it to Adaeze, she had a different perspective.
“So Lara called and then told Michael not to mind coming to her,” Adaeze said.
“Yeah,” I replied.
“Knowing fully well that he always worries about her, ruining your date. Then he ends up choosing her over you.”
“I don’t like your tone, Adaeze.”
“You don’t have to. I will still tell the truth, Zara.”
“Michael and Lara have history. It’s not fair that I come in and then make him have to choose,” I told her.
“Oh darling, you don’t have to make him do that. He has already made his choice.”
“Adaeze!”
She grunted in response.
Safe to say, Adaeze doesn’t like Lara. But she also doesn’t exactly like Michael. She tolerates him, but she never says much to him.
Presently, Lara and Michael are telling Kelvin the story of how they met. It’s a well-practiced dialogue. I know the story too well. I even know who is going to tell what part. It goes thus:
“We were fifteen, I think,” Lara says.
“I was sixteen. You were going to be sixteen later that year,” Michael corrects.
“That doesn’t matter.”
“Whatever!”
“So anyway, I walked into this Christian youth music club and Michael was rapping. It was okay, but it could be better.”
“She walked up to me right after the meeting was over to tell me all the ways my rap could be better. She had notes. A lot of them.”
“In my head, of course. I am not a weirdo to be carrying a notepad around to correct rappers.”
“Right!” Michael concedes with a laugh. “And that was how we started writing together.”
“And became this power-song-writing-duo: Mikey and Larry,” Lara adds.
I don’t think Michael tells the story of how we met this passionately. In fact, he never tells the story of how we met when we have double dates. It’s always Mikey and Larry’s story. Oh my gosh! Adaeze was right. Lara is the love of Michael’s life, not me.
“I need to go,” I suddenly declare to my dates.
Michael touches my arm softly. “Are you okay, babe?”
“I will be, eventually.”
“What? Do I need to drop you off?” he asks.
“No. Kelvin, do you want to get out of here?”
Kelvin looks relieved. He read the room during this one dinner and it took me almost eight months. How naïve of me. Lara stares at me in confusion.
“Yes, please,” Kelvin replies.
“What is happening right now?” Lara asks.
“Yeah, babe, what is going on?” Michael asks. “Can we talk outside?”
“Sure,” I say picking up my bag. “Kelvin, meet me outside in ten minutes-ish.”
He nods in response.
Michael and I go outside.
“Zara, what is going on with you?” he asks.
“Michael, you are in love with Lara.”
“Larry? No. I am not. We are just friends. I thought I had made that very clear from the beginning.”
“Remember when we met?” I ask.
Michael and I met at a concert he was performing at. He asked for my number. I didn’t want to give it to him because I wasn’t interested, but I just gave it to him. He called me the next afternoon and I enjoyed the conversation. And that was how we got here.
“In the concert? Yeah, I remember,” Michael replies.
“Do you remember that when we talked the next day, you kept saying, ‘My friend, Larry’?”
Who by the way I thought was a guy. That day, I was convinced that Michael was in love with a guy. So you can imagine my shock when I met Larry the girl.
“I can’t recall,” he says.
“Yeah! But you called her name a lot during the conversation. Somehow, I forgot about it. I should have known you were in love with her from the start.”
“But I am not.”
“Michael, tell me the truth. Why did you approach me?” I ask.
“Because I thought you were attractive.”
“And who do I look like?”
“I don’t know.”
“Seriously? Did you look at Lara and me today?”
“I did.”
“And you didn’t see the resemblance? Even Lara brought it up earlier.”
“I-I don’t…. It’s not….”
I shake my head. “Michael, just admit it. It’s actually okay. I’ll be okay.”
He shakes his head. “Please, don’t do this, Zara. Lara and I would never work.”
“Oh, so you have thought about it before.”
Michael sighs. “I told her I loved her just before you and I met. Lara ignored it and acted like she didn’t hear me. So I took it as a no. She probably didn’t want to ruin our friendship and partnership.”
“So you decided to date a Lara lookalike,” I say.
“Zara, it’s not like that. I really do love you.”
“But not like you love Lara. When Lara calls, you go.”
“You said I could go,” he refutes.
“Because you always looked so miserable and distracted.”
“I wouldn’t have gone if you weren’t okay with it.”
“You kept trying to prove a point to yourself. Michael, this sucks for me but I would rather not be a second option.”
He takes my hands. “You are not a second option, Zara.”
I wiggle my hands out of his. Kelvin is walking out of the restaurant, Lara in tow. “Goodbye, Michael.”
I start walking away, but Michael calls out. “Please, wait.”
I turn back. “Yeah?”
He steps closer. “But Lara doesn’t feel the same way.”
“I don’t know. Maybe she didn’t then. But she does now. Why do you think she has a new love interest every other month? Because none of them is you. God, you both are terrible. Go be terrible together.”
“I’m sorry, Zara,” he apologises sincerely.
I shrug.
As I walk towards Kelvin's car, I promise never to date a man with a female best friend. I can’t do it again. Maybe I am not that evolved, after all.
A year later….
I am staring at a picture of Lara and Michael’s engagement. It worked out for them. Great! Maybe I should become a professional matchmaker.
“You’ll be an awful one,” Adaeze says.
We are hanging out in her apartment.
“But see, I did this,” I say showing her the proof.
“It took you eight months.”
“Seven months and three weeks.”
“Not a good trait for a professional matchmaker.”
“Okay, whatever!”
Did I get my happy ending? you might ask. My life hasn’t ended yet so I couldn’t tell ya. No, I am not engaged too. I don’t even have a boyfriend or prospects. But that’s okay. As I told Michael the last time I saw him, I would rather not be a second option. I still stand by that. But at this moment, I am happy. I am with my best friend, eating her delicious oha soup with akpu1. Life is pretty good.
Igbo delicacy
Hi! This is obviously fiction. My name is not Zara. Also, shout out to my girl,
, for noticing the Lara/Zara name thing. I didn't do it on purpose but it worked.
I was thinking about the girl that suffers in the bestfriend trope. I love that trope when they tastefully done, but how often do we forget that the ex-girlfriend or boyfriend is a human too.
I might have gotten my inspiration from Jim and Pam in The Office too. Shout out to Cassia for putting me on
Until next time, beautiful one.
Good!! So good!!!🤭🥹
And no, I'm never going to be with a man who has a female best friend, I'm a good girl so I understand that he might have close female friends before we met but after I come boundaries should come in, they can still hangout and still be close fr, I would be foolish to end my man's relationship with his female friends, but it's me first......I'm the wife and the bestie 🤭.
And men rather than making your woman feel awkward with that your bestie, just marry the bestie, no dey stress pesin!
I need to find new ways to say “this was amazing!” so I can pull them up whenever I read something you write DeeDee!😂 But seriously the way reading the story felt like watching a movie (the flow!!!) was just *chef’s kiss* You’re such an amazing writer!!
Also, I completely agree with Zara! I can’t be competing with another female for any man’s affection, abeg 🤧